Pour a glass of wine and put up your feet, ladies because we are getting personal. I am talking about it. You know, the only kind of busy that most of us are not so busy with these days. Except of course, unless you’re like my husband and me. I mean, we just had our third baby in 5 years, so naturally, we’re shaking the sheets All. The. Time. Really, can you blame us? Between all the poop, and vomit, and bad dreams, AND work (we can’t forget all the work!) we love to cozy up before the exhaustion sets in and work off some of that built up energy.
I just can’t help but share the love – which is precisely why I compiled this handy list of…
10 Steps to More Boot Knocking – Guaranteed.
1. Schedule, Schedule, schedule.
As in sync your schedule with your spouse or partner. Same plans are the foundation of having all the hibity dibity. Meet weekly to ensure that not only are your calendars matching but that the other family members are also on coordinating routines.
2. Self Care
It’s critical to shower every day AND have time to wash your hair, shave, pluck your eyebrows, and anything else that makes you feel like your irresistible, sexy self. Plus, you have to be ready for any opportunity that might present itself, and I don’t know about you, but nothing kills my game more than my leg hair flowing romantically in the wind.
3. Early Bed Times
The kids must always be in bed by 7 PM, as to allow time for cocktails and gentle relaxation period before the sweet lovemaking. Early bedtimes also mean the children must not leave their rooms. They must learn to forsake their thirst, philosophical musings, and trips to the lavatory.
4. Everyone Sleeps.
The baby sleeps. The preschooler sleeps. The kindergartner sleeps. And they all sleep. At the same time. Commence the deed.
5. Be one with your inner Aphrodite.
Do all the meditation, and yoga, and exercise and all the things to ease the distractions and be fully present with all the energy for all of the seduction.
6. Dress not for the love you are having but for the love that you want.
Wearing the appropriate romantic undergarments will surely help fan the flames of desire.
7. Become a Ninja.
8. Furthermore, children must never enter your bed.
9. Disable the Sex-dar
So. You and your sugar lips are gearing up for some belly bumping?? Not. So. Fast. It is absolutely vital that you disarm the internal sex-dar mechanism on each of your children. It is only then that you can complete the bumpity bump.
10. Invest in deterrents.
And last but not least, put a lock on your door. Once you’ve completed this checklist, you and your love muffin are going to need it.
I hope this will help each of you live your most saucy (as in Sriracha, *wink-wink*) lives ever.