I Don’t Cook and I Don’t Feel Bad


Here’s the deal. I love my kitchen. It’s super cute, and I pride myself in the cookware we have acquired over the years, as well as our cutlery, recipe books, and countless kitchen gadgets. I’m a member of a few Facebook meal planning groups, and don’t even get me started on my Pinterest boards for crock-pot cooking ideas, easy dinners, and the like. However, on the daily, I don’t really use any of this.

You see, I don’t cook. Like hardly ever.

I also don’t meal plan.

Grocery shopping? Nope.

Are you laughing yet?

Do you think my family is starving? Or, that we live on take out?

It’s okay to think this. I get it. I would probably come to the same conclusion at first glance. What I do have, though, is an amazing partner who truly enjoys cooking, AND he is good at it. In fact, when we first got married, we realized that he was way better at cooking than me, so things just naturally evolved into this arrangement for us. He cooks, and I clean up the kitchen afterwards. Since he is our chef, he also primarily plans out our meals each week, which translates into him really knowing what we are grocery shopping for. I full-on admit, friends, that I am a lucky lady. It’s not that I don’t have any input, but he’s got it. If you send me to the grocery store alone, or {gasp} without a list….watch out! We may, indeed, just be eating take out that week! 

It’s not that I can’t cook, but rather, it’s more that I don’t really like it. If I do cook, I have to have a recipe to follow precisely. There is no winging for this girl, or whipping up something from whatever is in the pantry. That would be disastrous! I’m sure I could learn, but I’m totally comfortable with our arrangement, and the bottom line is that it works for our family. When we gather with our circle of friends and have to bring a dish to share, they know better than to ask about the dish I made. They will ask, “Where did your hubby find this delicious recipe?” They know the deal, and it’s cool. I do have a few winners in my repertoire that I pull out every now & then. One of them is a terrific crock pot chili recipe that’s perfect for game day or any cool weather day. I am also pretty good at baking when I actually put the effort into it. 

For our home, we play to our strengths and get the job done. Conquer and divide, and the home runs smoothly. I have to wonder, though, am I in the minority on this? While families are changing and evolving as far as responsibilities go, are most mamas still doing the cooking? Sometimes among my circle of friends I feel that I’m in the minority in this area. I still own it, but I would love to hear from you. Do you cook, or does your partner?



  1. Love this and I think it’s awesome that there are men who enjoy the chef role in the family dynamic. In ours though, when my husband and I moved in together, come to find out the only homemade meals he had can from his mom’s house and the guy ate can chili or mac and cheese if he didn’t eat out. 10 years later, this has yet to change. But I love the kitchen, so he does his part by using the prep time to hang out with our child after work. Whatever keeps the family fed is the best set up for them.

  2. My Dad always did the cooking while I was growing up. He loved being in the kitchen and creating yummy dinners for us. I think it’s awesome! I do most of the cooking for my family now but I love it most when my husband and I are able to cook together. He grills & I make the sides & desserts. So fun!

    • Those are great memories with your dad, Melissa! I think it’s fun to cook together, too…..but, I usually get in mine’s way….haha!

  3. I have not been the primary cook for the last 9+ years (after our third child was born.) My husband does all of the cooking and bakes our bread fresh weekly for the most part. We are farm to table and love it that way. My husband is a wonderful cook. He also does the grocery shopping which includes farmers markets, farm stands and a CSA (community supported agriculture) share. We have a website, http://www.fullvanfun.com that focuses on food, music and travel the entire family can enjoy together.


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