My husband Roy and I decided not to find out the gender of our baby. {Insert loud GASP, moment of silence and then a ton of follow up questions here} Yes I said it correctly. We have decided not to find out the gender of the baby. You would be surprised at how many people just don’t understand this.

boygirlIt all started when a friend of mine had a baby girl and she and her husband waited until the birth to find out the gender. At the time I was not pregnant but I asked Roy if he thought he could wait until the baby was born to find out the gender. I thought for sure his answer would be no. He shocked me and actually said yes that he could wait and asked if I could. Very quickly I responded yes.  I actually completely surprised myself too. If you know me really well you know two important things about me: I’m extremely OCD (in certain ways) and I also like to be different. The more I thought about it the more I knew my quick response of yes was going to be a definite yes. I wanted to wait until the baby was born.

Now that I’m 19 weeks pregnant I can’t even tell you how many times I hear “Do you know what you’re having?” Every time I respond with “We are waiting until the baby is born to find out.” I swear you would have thought I just grew two more arms and another head with the looks I got. That response is ALWAYS, and I mean ALWAYS counteracted with a “What?! Are you sure? But how are you going to buy things for the baby?! How are you going to plan?”

Let me just go ahead and respond with all the reasons why Roy and I decided not to find out and hopefully it clears everything up.

We don’t believe in limiting our child to only pink or blue based on gender. Don’t get us wrong. We have two nephews and another on the way and we are all about buying all things boy for them, but although Roy loves sports and I love shoes and shopping, we aren’t particularly sold on the idea of setting one specific gender role for our unborn child. He loves space and I love Harry Potter.   I want our child to love sports, shopping, space and Harry Potter no matter what gender he/she is.

It upsets people. I mean not just like a little. It REALLY upsets people. They take it really to heart that you’re not finding out the gender. But why should that matter? Shouldn’t they love my child regardless of it’s gender? (I know they do, I’m jut saying)

I don’t need to know the gender of the baby to plan anything. Like I said earlier I’m super OCD, which also means I’m a HUGE planner. I plan everything. I’m not so organized as having a planner and all that but I like to plan, and have a plan. With that being said planning for a baby is easy. You buy gender neutral EVERYTHING! And it’s great and exciting and makes things more fun. I will admit sometimes it seems difficult but we registered for everything with ease. As far as planning a nursery, that was simple, white furniture and arguing over Harry Potter or space theme for our first baby’s nursery. (Harry Potter won). We are withholding the names we pick too. That doesn’t mean we won’t be prepared, though. We want our little bundle of joy to have a meaningful and special name. We’re already thinking of the most unique baby girl names, and coming up with a list of rare baby boy names.

“Don’t you want to know if you’re having a boy or a girl?” Roy and I want a healthy baby. We prayed for a child. We have a daughter, so if we are blessed with another then that’s fantastic and we would be over the moon. If we are blessed with a boy, then that’s equally as fantastic and we would be so excited for Karli to have a brother.

And lastly, but most importantly, we have a 14 year old daughter. She lives in North Carolina throughout the year with her mother and stepfather and during the summer she comes to stay with us. Although she is extremely excited to have a brother or sister, this is our last summer with her as our only child. We want to enjoy every single moment of the next six weeks with her before Baby G comes. Life will change for all of us come November but until then it’s us three (and a half) and I wouldn’t have it any other way.



  1. This is awesome! We waited to find out the gender of our LO until delivery and not once have I regretted the surprise. We also did not share names. Choosing a name is hard enough without everyone’s input. Best of luck!

  2. We haven’t found out for our first two and aren’t for our third, also due in November! It’s sooooo fun! The anticipation just keeps growing! Have fun with it!


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