Mamas… I had a melt-down, right in the middle of our girls’ pre-school. I should preface with that it wasn’t about their school at all. Their school is a wonderful loving learning environment. It was about all the change that has taken place in our lives in the last month!
I made the huge decision to return to the workforce outside of our home. For me this decision was an internal struggle, one that I still wrestle with from time to time. I had been a stay-at-home or work-at-home mom since my oldest was born (he is 10). However, I knew that for the benefit of our family and honestly some self-purpose, it was time. Knowing all of that didn’t make it any easier, but I knew what had to be done.
The Hard Part
I knew deep down the hardest part for me would be sending our littles off to pre-school. Not because they weren’t ready, but because I had always envisioned being at home with them until Kindergarten. I did the whole school tour, paperwork, and made sure they were all ready for their first day! As schedules would have it, it was determined that it would make more sense for my hubby to drop them off and I would pick them up. However, he did both drop off and pick up the first few days as I worked late. While I missed my family like crazy while at work, part of me was secretly relieved I didn’t have to pick them up. I simply wasn’t ready to face that part.
The day came though when I had no choice, he had to work late, and it was time. I put on a bold face and walked in…though since I hadn’t done this before I needed a quick tutorial on signing them out. Success. Now I just needed to pick them up from their classrooms. At our girls’ pre-school the classrooms are all centered around a large exploration room, it’s honestly quite amazing and even I want to explore all the cool things there.
I made my way to our youngest daughter’s classroom only to discover no one was there. As I took a step back from the door, my boldness immediately faded and in an instant. I was overwhelmed. For the first time ever, someone else knew were our daughter was and I didn’t. I knew she was in the building, but I didn’t know which room. I made my way back to the front, and immediately the most amazing woman locked eyes with me, and without me even saying a word she asked, “Mama, are you okay?” All I could do was shake my head as tears started streaming down my face.
That amazing woman wrapped me in a hug (which I needed), and walked me to a chair, brought me some water, and let me cry it out. She let me explain what I was feeling, and what changes our family had experienced recently. She reassured me that our girls were thriving and loved (which I knew they love and are loved where they are). Most of all she reassured me that even though it was a difficult decision to return to work and send our littles to pre-school, it was the right decision. She took her time, she didn’t rush me at all, and then she walked with me to pick up the girls. She also wasn’t bothered at all by my melt-down, even though I was a bit embarrassed. I am incredibly grateful for her.
There have been other instances since returning to work when I have needed to lean on others. It’s humbling and amazing all at the same time. I am learning that it really does take a village (I have an amazing one), and I am so blessed to have this woman and others who care for my children and our family as part of our village.