Postpartum’s a different journey for every mother and every pregnancy. If you were to see me out and about holding my child’s hand and smiling, would you know that I needed help?
If you were to see me at school, drop off looking tired and disheveled, maybe wearing coffee on my shirt and baby spit up on my shoulder, would you know that I needed help?
It’s interesting how postpartum moms get very little support from society, and sometimes even their families. We wear that mom strong badge of honor with pride, and sometimes it limits us from showing our true vulnerability. Can you believe I’ve even asked for help and no one heard me? Most people just see how strong I am, how I can juggle it all.
Truth be told it’s what I show, but did you know that just because I can doesn’t mean I should?
Just because I grew up with the survival gene doesn’t mean that sometimes inside I am not screaming, that sometimes inside I’m holding back my tears because I feel like I’m going to break. This isn’t because I don’t love my children, and that’s what we moms fear when asking for help. Somehow automatically people make assumptions or fear it negates the life that we’ve chosen. You and I both know that’s not true, but it doesnt stop those thoughts from creeping in. All it means is that we need a moment to catch our breath to wash our hair and just reset. God even our appliances need the reset button once in a while, so why not us?
The postpartum journey is in a straight road. It has its ups and it downs. Some days we wake up great and others it could be a bit bumpy and I want you to know that is normal and OK. Frankly, it’s motherhood. We can’t be amazing every day now can we? I want you to know that if your post partum journey isn’t what you thought it would be but that’s OK.
I’m in my sixth postpartum journey and I’ll tell you I’ve had two really rough ones and it’s not because I did anything differently. It’s because my body is responding differently and I’ve learned that that’s OK. (Not something easy to learn or get through.) Do I struggle showing my vulnerability? Absolutely. Do I wish people could see behind my smile and maybe pause and give me a hug, yes. I also wish we can take that postpartum time and just regroup and enter into this new phase of life on our own pace, on our own time, and more importantly, with support.
Support looks different for everybody. It could be as simple as somebody sending you dinner so that you don’t have to cook tonight, someone offering to walk your dogs, so it’s one thing less on your plate, or helping you clean up around the house so you can actually spend your time bonding with your baby.
Just know, Mama that you are not alone in your postpartum journey, there is a village out there for you, and that village may very well be a virtual one and that is OK. When you need to vent, when you need to cry, when you want to brag, or when you simply want a friend, don’t forget to reach out. Your village is around you and I’ve learned that village is what you make of it.
This is for all the Mamas that show strength daily, but inside, are weeping of exhaustion, of transition, or because of hormones. I am in it with you, and we will come out shining together in our next phase of motherhood.
