Proverbs 31: Theme Park Edition

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IMG_5587My husband and I would much prefer a relaxed day at home to crowds, maps, and wait times. We keep it low-key. But our daughter is turning three and this is prime theme park age. So we did the unthinkable. We took two children under three years old to a theme park (I get heart palpitations just typing that). But you know? It was glorious.

Zadie saw some of her favorite princesses and was amazed at every turn in the park. It was a perfect day. So worth the time, effort, and dolla dolla bills. But because only moms of noble character know the logistics that go into a theme park day, I would like to take this moment to salute all theme-park braving mothers with Proverbs 31: Theme Park Edition.

Proverbs 31: Theme Park Edition

An excellent wife who can find in the theme park crowds?

    She is worth far more than a fastpass.

The heart of her husband trusts in her packing skills,

   and he will have no lack of snacks.

She does him good, and not harm,

   even when he runs into her heels with the stroller.

She seeks water fountains and cotton candy,

   and handles diaper changes with willing hands.

She is like the pirate ship of the Caribbean;

   she brings food from afar despite enemy combatants.

IMG_5597She rises before the sun

   and provides sunscreen for her household

   and portions of juice for her minions.

She considers an annual pass and buys it;

   with the pass she plants a year’s worth of memories.

She dresses herself in tourist attire

   and makes her arms strong after holding a three year old all day.

She knows what is profitable: time with her family.

   Her headlights drive a sleepy husband and kids home at night.

She is not afraid to haul the kids upstairs,

   for all her household are clothed in brand new Mickey jammies.

Her husband is known in the Magic Kingdom

   when he squeals with delight among the kiddos of the land.

Patience and dignity are her line-standing mantras,

   and she laughs at the wait time to come.

Her children rise up and call her awesome;

   her husband also, and he praises her:

“Many women have survived a theme park day with small children,

   but you surpass them all.”

Charm won’t last to park closing time, and beauty will fade with sweat,

   but a woman who braves a theme park for her family is to be praised.

Give her the family fun day she has planned,

   and let her works be displayed on the profiles of Facebook.

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And all of Orlando’s mothers said?

Amen.

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