You might be thinking “Why in the world wouldn’t anybody take someone’s offer when they say they will help you, especially when you have kids?!” It’s easier said than done.
Deep down we all have this inner self that’s bursting with pride, self-centeredness, and an attitude suggesting “I can do all things without help.” (Also, if you have just a smidge of stubbornness in you, well then, saying YES to help is even harder for you…trust me, I know!) There’s something about showing your independence that gives you a feeling of accomplishment…BUT the truth is we all need help, even when we don’t ask. Without taking it we get run down with exhaustion, loneliness, and a sense of “helplessness”.
Sometimes the form of help comes in a very discrete way. The thing is, you have to say YES, even when it’s uncomfortable.
One Saturday afternoon while cleaning my kitchen and finding old food stuck to the table, floors that were way past due in cleaning, and a laundry basket overfilling with clean clothes from a week ago… I had a moment of “I can’t do this all by myself.” I felt like all my life consisted of was work and house chores, I was lacking “self-care”. My family is going through a huge transition and a time where we are trying to grow financially. We are having to sacrifice so much in order to get ahead and build the future we have our mind set on (success doesn’t come easy, does it?!). In this moment, this realization washed over me with a sense that I’m not alone there are hands reaching out to help you, saying YES is the first step.
I had to give myself a “pep talk” and open my eyes to the fact that good people are lending a helping hand, it’s my turn to accept it. I’ve always been one that wants to do everything by myself – ask my mom and she’ll share all the stories of when I was a kid. Saying YES is hard for me, and I’m sure it is for others as well. Here’s what happened when I finally started opening up and allowing the help to filter through…
I have had multiple friends step up and offer more so an “invitation” to some areas in my life where I needed to grow and they were there offering the support.
These areas in my life have started to grow all in a positive way…
Spiritually- When a good friend asked if I wanted to try out her church because she knew I was worried about my son not liking kid’s care. She also heard me say “I really would like to go to church, but..” She listened and offered a lending hand. Now we have been going for a few weeks and it’s been something that has really been missing in my life.
Mind, Body, Soul– I have longed to get back into yoga. It’s been something that has helped me with anxiety and overall just feeling good about myself, #selfcare. When a good friend reached out and asked me to attend yoga with her where they offer child care, I said YES! She now asks me every week and guess what?! I continue to say YES (even when I’m tired after a long work day, we both know it’s something we need)!
Motherhood– Sometimes you need to vent, sometimes you need child care when you have to work and your husband’s out of town, sometimes you have questions only other mamas can answer. This is the help coming from a community of mamas who “get you”.
My point is, say YES! No matter what stage you are in motherhood. Put aside the pride, open your arms with gratefulness your friends, relatives, or whoever it may be offering to help you. They see you, they know you need it. AND don’t be ashamed to “ask for help”. There are good people out there waiting for you. The quote “It takes a village to raise a child.” wasn’t said for nothing, there is so much meaning behind it.
Here’s another great article about “Saying YES to Offers of Help”.