Shortly after my girls were born, my cousin John (whose daughters were four and six at the time) offhandedly remarked, “Just wait, before you know it you will be spending your weekends on ‘The Birthday Party Circuit.'” I recalled his prophetic words a few years later when my inbox overflowed with Evites and our refrigerator was plastered with invitations. When my daughters entered 2nd grade, the invitations began to taper off. But from PreK-3 through 1st grade, rarely a month passed without a birthday party.  Or two.  Or three.  Those are the years before most children form true friendships, so typically the entire class (or all the boys or all the girls) are invited to the birthday child’s party.  Most were held at birthday party venues. I’m not sure what is currently popular, but we spent many Saturdays at Monkey Joe’s, Birthday World, The Fun Spot and Chuck E. Cheese. I was grateful to the moms who chose pottery painting, roller skating, mini golf or bowling instead.
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E at Birthday World (which I understand is now closed)

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G loving Monkey Joe’s

We attended every party unless we truly had other plans. Some invitations provided an opportunity to teach empathy. If my daughters complained that they weren’t really friends with the birthday child, I’d ask how they thought that child would feel if no one went to the party. They understood, and would later tell me that they felt good when we went to a sparsely attended party.

I quickly realized the necessity of keeping a stash of birthday gifts on hand, and the wisdom of purchasing duplicates of toys that we already owned as gifts. My girls were prone to meltdowns if they saw me wrapping a gift that they coveted. Initially annoyed by their behavior, I came to realize that I was expecting too much. Putting myself in their tiny shoes, I thought about how I would feel if my husband came home with a fabulous new purse and then told me that he was giving it to someone else. I’d be very disappointed. Why should they feel any differently?

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Speaking of gift wrap, the Dollar Tree is a fabulous source for really nice gift bags, tissue paper, ribbon and cards.  I still head back there when my stockpile runs low.

I watched for sales to stock up on gifts. I’m an on-line shopper, and I’ve found the very best bargains on toys during the week after Christmas. If you decide to keep a gift stash, I highly recommend putting the gifts in one place and maintaining a list of what you purchase. My list is a simple Word document listing the gift and the price. I delete the entry when I use the gift. I’ve found this method works well for me and has eliminated the need for last minute shopping and overspending.

By 2nd grade, invitations to large birthday parties were few and far between, and the next chapter began – feeling excluded and sleepover parties – a blog entry for another day.

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