It’s day 12 of 14. There is currently $29.66 in the account. Two more days until pay day. Two more days of trying to make it stretch. Is there gas in my car? Is there gas in my husband’s car? Do we have enough diapers and wipes? Is there enough milk to last us until Friday morning? What’s in the fridge, freezer and pantry that I can make for dinner the next two nights? We can’t drive on the highway just in case Sunpass decides to charge us. Are there any bills that are going to come through? No, I don’t think so, I think I did all my math right.
My husband and I both work full time jobs. We have a teenager and a toddler. We also live paycheck to paycheck with no end in sight. And the kicker is…I’m pregnant! Every week I panic. No, scratch that. Every DAY I panic. I’m constantly worried about money. How much is in the account, what bills have yet to be paid, when do they need to be paid? And truthfully it’s exhausting. I have my moments were I wonder
how did we get in this position?
I know some people will read this, they’ll roll their eyes and wonder why we don’t change our situation. The thing is, we have. I recently took on a new job that pays a little more. We have cut some things out of our budget just to save a few dollars. Our work schedules allow us to not have to put our toddler in daycare. We all know that this expense alone can make people live paycheck to paycheck. Us not having her in daycare is not because we don’t want to. It’s simple: we literally cannot afford it, not even part time daycare.
Does any of this sound familiar?
I know we are not alone. I know there are plenty of people out there who live this way. Finances are something people don’t talk about and I get it, it’s a private matter. Money drives me absolutely crazy and it makes me cry at least once a week. We have no savings and no credit cards to fall back on. I’m tired of worrying. I’m tired of trying to figure out “this bill can be paid right now, this bill can be paid in two days, this leaves X amount of dollars in the account for groceries and gas.” I’m tired of wondering if we are good parents or if our children are missing out on things because we don’t have money.
I’d love to tell you I have this amazing advice to help, but I don’t. I’d love to tell you that it will be okay and you will get through this. But even I’m not convinced of that half the time. What I do know is we make it. Day after day, week after week and month after month. We make it. I don’t know how but we do. I can tell you the typical cliche “we have a roof over our head, food on the table (even if it’s cereal) and so much love.” So next time you feel you’re alone just know you’re not. And for my mommas trying to make it to payday, come to my house; we have spaghetti. A lot of it (thank you BOGO!).