I have been a mom for over 8 years and a stay at home mom for nearly 6. Since staying home, I have gotten some really positive comments, some quite odd comments, and some really negative comments. I don’t really let them get to me, but that doesn’t mean other SAHMs are the same way. Here are some things NOT to say when coming across the dwindling breed of the Stay at Home Mom.
“Wow. I wish I had the luxury of staying home and not going to work every day.”
For most of us, staying home is not a “luxury,” it’s a sacrifice. We’ve decided this is what’s best for our children and we’ve given up the option of going to work. We’ve also given up the luxury of annual or bi-annual vacations, dinners out, date nights, and a plethora of other things because we don’t have the luxury of extra income.
“What do you do all day?”
Not only do I stay home with my four kids, I home school the oldest two. So that takes up a very large chunk of my day. On top of that, I clean my house every day, I do the laundry, I meal plan and grocery shop, I run errands, and I enjoy my kids. I rarely sit down to watch TV or read a book and I never leave the house without my kids.
“I would be so bored.”
Well, it’s a good thing I’m so simple-minded and easily entertained.
Seriously though, this one really irks me. There are many days where I looooong to have adult conversations and desire to discuss politics and the economy but I can’t because my 8-year-old doesn’t understand the issues with immigration or gun-control. But mostly, I am busy all day. I’m teaching and playing and cleaning and cooking and loving. I’m not bored. I’m blessed to be with my kids as they learn and grow. It’s awesome.
“Do you wish your husband would let you go back to work?”
Oh yes. This is real. For some reason people think I’m some oppressed and dominated woman who is being held against her will as some silenced prisoner! It’s ludicrous! My husband and I knew this is what we wanted while we were dating. I was not surprised by this in any way. We had goals in place before we ever got engaged. I don’t have to wish my husband would let me do anything. Yes, he is the leader of our home and I do my best to submit to him but we are a team. We have discussions about our family constantly. He listens to my concerns, my opinions, and my ideas. He often takes my advice since I’m the one reading the children and spending the money. I’m so blessed to have a man who leads us well and appreciates the value to add to our home.
So there you go.
Are you a SAHM too? Do you sometimes get asked questions that bother you?
Or maybe you’re a working mom? I’m sure you love working. I’m sure you truly enjoy being with your kids also. This is not a post about me loving my children more than you love yours. But it is about my family’s decision for me to stay at home. And maybe next time, working mom, that you meet a stay at home mom, you might learn something about her and not assume you already know.
We all sacrifice for our families, as mothers. Let’s all be warriors for other women and support them in every way we can.