You Can Be a Mom. And A Friend, Too!

Because who has time for weekly coffee dates?

As a self-proclaimed introvert, I am still very much dependent on my gal pals. They keep me sane. I mean, what would I do if I didn’t have my girls a text or phone call away to vent to when my husband makes me want to rip his head off? Who else will send me crazy memes that make me laugh so hard, my co-workers wonder if there is really something wrong with me? Friends are so important. It is my belief that everyone needs a good close circle of friends in real life. Yes, in real life. I mean, I too have dozens of internet friends and while I love them, too there’s just something special about real life friends. You know, in the flesh!

But then what happens when motherhood hits? Friendships are so much easier to maintain when you aren’t rolling on a newborn’s schedule, having to trek your kids to various activities or prepping your big kids for college. Friends with kids usually get it. They’re just as busy as you are so the weekly girl’s night out activities don’t happen as much anymore and no one is complaining. I’ve found that friends without kids struggle with understanding the mommy hustle and bustle. I’ve lost several girlfriends due their frustrations with my dropped plans and my inability to really be honest with them. Friendships are tough. They are almost like dating in that you REALLY have to make an effort to foster those friendships. I’ve discovered that it doesn’t have to be so difficult. Yeah, I may not be able to grab drinks after work any more but there are still soooo many ways to be a friend while also being a Mom.

Schedule phone calls

Putting a reminder in your calendar to remind you to call a friend may seen a bit loco, but I’m telling you, it works! I can’t trust myself to remember but when I get that notification at 9 pm every Wednesday night, I know that no matter what, my girl Bri and I will be chatting. The chats don’t have to be long. Sometimes they’re as short as 2-3 minutes. Sometimes 2 hours have passed before either one have has realized it but I love that we have both been dedicated enough to do this for over 2 years.

Send cards and letters

Do people still mail cards? I do! I don’t even have to wait for a holiday or special occasion. It takes no more than 10 minutes and a stamp to write a letter to a gal pal. The best part about this is that they are so unexpected. Even if life gets crazy and I simply don’t have the time or energy to write a quick letter, for one of my gal pals, I’ll snag a postcard and scribble “Love ya – TTYL”. I could have texted her the same thing but letter writing is our thing and I don’t want her to think I’ve forgotten about her.

Just check in

Our mobile devices have made it so easy to connect and stay connected so if the weekly phone calls and letters still seem like a feat, shoot your gal pals a quick text saying “Thinking of you”. It doesn’t sound so grand but I’m telling you, a little gesture like that – letting someone know that they’re on your mind, can speak volumes. I know what it feels like to feel as if you’ve been abandoned by your friends but I am also guilty of not staying in touch. I’ve got a bit of a better grip on mommyhood so these days, I am trying my hardest to stay connected with my girls.

Do you find it difficult to juggle being a parent and being a friend?


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