The loneliness and heaviness of Motherhood can sink in when you least suspect it.
I recently had conversations with some mom friends. The conversations took place on separate days and the friends were in different circles, but the vibe I got from both was similar.
They were stressed, lonely and a dare I say, lost.
Motherhood is a hard stage of life. It’s exhausting. Here we are, trying our best but it feels like the wheels are spinning in vain. Some mothers have given up a big career, some are balancing them with motherhood.
I heard and felt what these mamas had to say; my empathy was piqued. I wanted to give them a huge hug. I wanted to say, I see you Mama and you are doing a great job.
So, here is my virtual hug. I see you, Mama!
To The Stay at Home Mama
Girl, I see you. I see you slaying that mom game! Even when the laundry is piled high, the dishes are never ending and you are just trying to survive until bedtime; you are doing great. You are carrying a precious load being the constant, loving and familiar face to your amazing family. You may have put a career or a degree or a dream on hold, but you are giving selflessly and that’s invaluable!
To The Working Mama
I see you, cranking through the work day and then diving into parenthood 110% after you “clock out”. You are giving everything to work and you are giving everything at home. Some days feel like you aren’t succeeding at either but you are. You show your family that you can hustle and you can love. You are an inspiration to the dreams your kids are growing everyday.
To The Special Needs Mama
I see you, Mama! I see you advocate for your kids every day. Managing appointments, insurance statements, medications and/or therapies has become a priority, always over your own needs. But the biggest priority is the happiness of your child and helping guide family, friends and perfect strangers through your child experience and journey. You are learning alongside your child and you are giving them a voice or the words to be stronger every day. You are exhausted emotionally and physically. You are doing great things, hard things, important things. You are amazing.
To The Single Mama
I see you, Mama! I’d love to give you a standing ovation. I know each situation looks different but you are stronger than you realize. Balancing schedules, work and sometimes covering all the roles in the family. Full of love for your kids and staying steady even during turmoil, you are guiding your children to value the strength inside of themselves. Teaching them resilience even when you feel you are running on steam. Remember, you are truly a force!
To The Quiet Mama
I see you, Mama! Whether it’s anxiety, nerves or anything else, I see you at all the park, school functions and supporting your babies in all they do. You may be tackling your own battles along with the battles of parenting. The love you have for your children is palpable and they feel it too. Please know that even if you don’t feel like you have “the tribe” everyone talks about. You have your tribe here. You can always sit with us!
To The Loud Mama
Of course, I see you, Mama! You love the camaraderie of parent groups and laughing with friends at the park. Everyone expects you to be the “fun mama” at all times. It can make the lonely days of new parenting difficult and isolating. You may feel like you don’t have a place to share when you are dealing with the hard stuff. It’s OK not to always be the “fun”, I see you in those moments too. It doesn’t take away from who you are. You teach your children that being bold is empowering. We love you for all your sides.
To The Instagram Mama
I see you! But it’s not what people think. Your beautiful pictures aren’t “inauthentic”. They’re your moment to escape the craziness of crying babies or dirty diapers. You find these small captured moments of calm, order and beauty in a season of chaos and unpredictability. It’s not a ploy to show just the perfect moments; it’s practice for finding the beauty in the everyday. Your stories give you a voice to talk about your passions, your advocacies, your experiences. It takes immense bravery to be transparent. That bravery will build a strong foundation in your little ones to feel comfortable to be who they are and find the beauty around them.
To The New Mama
Take a seat friend, I see you. I’ve been you. You are in the thick of it. This season seems never ending but one day you will wake up and it will just be memories. You may not even know when it happens. You are tired…a tired you never knew existed. But you are doing great. Did you know decisions could be so hard? How to feed, which pump, bottle, spoon, sippy cup, to use? So many decisions and so much information. I won’t lie, it gets better and harder and better again. The worst advice I was ever given was “enjoy every moment”. No, Mama, enjoy the moments that matter. No one enjoys the exhaustion, the poop, the hormones. You can let those moments be forgotten. Remember that day when you did #momlife like a boss? That’s the only one that matters and it’s the one your baby will remember most.
To The Veteran Mama
I see you and we need you! Your kids are grown. There’s no more diapers, it’s prom. No more spit-up on your shirt. It’s graduation parties instead of cake smash photo shoots. The house is quiet. You never thought it would be worse than the crying and constant squealing of the early days. This is a different kind of hard. You made it through the trenches and now the new mamas need your stories. Even if you think we don’t. We need to know what’s ahead and that there new firsts on the horizon. Your kids have learned so much from you already and still have so much more to learn.
To The Still-Trying Mama
I see you! You already have a mama’s heart. You already know what it’s like to put your soul into something and love someone, deeply, who you’ve never met. Your road has been full of let downs and heartbreak but you persevere because your mama bear instinct is already bursting with love. That determination will be what you pass on to your little one. Your foundation for parenting will be built stronger for the adversity you’ve faced.
To All The Mamas
I see you all! Seasons of parenting change. Struggles become things of the past and new challenges take their place. These come from the parenting journey itself or things we battle within ourselves that affect how we mother our children. Some may have that #squadgoals type “tribe” but others may not. But no matter what, we need to be reminded that we are seen and valued. This is my virtual hug to you. I see you, you are doing great and you are slaying this motherhood thing. And when you aren’t, there’s always tomorrow!