Things that change the third time around


We’re expecting! But for a while, we didn’t know what we were expecting. We’ve had two precious kids and we’ve had two miscarriages. This fifth pregnancy could’ve been kid three or miscarriage three. Either way, it was going to be our last attempt. So you can understand why I’ve been a little emotionally distant from it all. Didn’t want to get too excited too soon.

We have somewhat unexpectedly–joyfully!–reached week 23. I’ve heard this baby’s heartbeat six times and seen a somewhat babyish-looking sonograms. I’ve unearthed the maternity wardrobe boxes, I’ve got a series of appointments on the calendar, we’ve somewhat settled on a baby name (at least my husband has!), and it’s all apparently really happening.

My husband and I have definitely noticed a shift in our attitude with this third baby, though. Here are some things that are just different about a third kid in five years. With the third baby:


photo by Elisabeth Nixon Photography

  1. Extra sonograms: nah. Baby’s in there. Baby’s growing. Baby will be out in 4D soon enough.
  2. Planning a nursery: Our babies live in our bedroom for a year. They all have. By the time they’re actually in their own rooms, they’re like two years old. Doesn’t feel like a pressing issue any more.
  3. Registries: Don’t need ‘em.
  4. Carseats: Hand ‘em down.
  5. Pregnancy announcement: people kind of expect a baby out of me these days. Slap a big bro t-shirt on my littlest, snap an unartistic photo, and upload. Bam. Done. Everyone has been sufficiently notified.
  6. No need to plan an elaborate gender reveal. It’s a boy or girl. 50/50. The only difference really is “how much time will I be expected to spend on this child’s hair?”
  7. Packing a hospital bag: meh.
  8. You forgo the announcement in your alumni magazines.
  9. Saving everything: not any more! Now that we know it’s a boy, the girl stuff we’ve been hoarding has been handed off to two close friends. And when this little dude outgrows things, they’ll go straight to donation. Goodbye, baby storage room upstairs!
  10. Hopes/dreams/prayers: my daughter prays very specifically about her new baby brother’s hair and his eyes and his hands. I’m just praying this baby has a majority of its limbs and functioning neurons. Anything above that seems ridiculously selfish and extravagant. Two perfect kids is a miracle. Three? Who could even fathom that.

Things that remain the same with a third child:

  1. Anxiety about how my husband and I will juggle it all.
  2. Anxiety about a year of bad sleep.
  3. Renew Amazon prime and pause subscribe & save subscriptions for diapers, wipes, and formula.
  4. Dreft detergent is still the most amazing smell on the planet.

And without telling me how hard it will be, what am I missing? What changed with YOUR third?

Special hanks to Monica Horn-Vassiliadis for sharing your photo with us! Photo taken by Elisabeth Nixon Photography


  1. As a momma of 3, I totally agree! Another thing I vividly remember is that after baby #1, I couldn’t get off the couch for 3 weeks postpartum. (Sooo tired!) After baby #2, meh… I was keeping up with day to day life. Baby #3, I walked in the front door, straight to the kitchen, emptied the dishwasher, and asked everyone what they wanted for lunch!


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