Going through a divorce is a tough and overwhelming process for everyone. It especially becomes more difficult for mothers who are now left with the question of starting again. Particularly, for those mothers who dedicated everything for the marriage and to fend for their children. In other words, if you’re a mother going through a divorce period, the process will put you on a pedestal of emotions and you’ll want to do your best to have a healthy and smooth divorce process.
Certainly, you want to leave an unhappy marriage. But as a mother you’ll begin to wonder the possible repercussions of your decision. Where do you begin? What happens after? Are the children going to adjust to the new family situation well enough? These are only a few of the many questions that’ll be running on your mind.
If you find yourself in this situation, chin up. The process doesn’t always have to be a rocky one. You have the help you need with this guide on how you, a mother, could go through a peaceful and smooth divorce.
1. Choose A More Peaceful Option
Did you know a divorce doesn’t necessarily mean you need to undergo court litigation? In the U.S. and in Canada, there are plenty of options when it comes to divorce, including mediating it.
If you and your spouse can set aside whatever ill feelings you may have with each other, then you may opt to mediating your divorce, as it’s thought to be better than going through litigation in a local court. Court hearings are stressful. And, it’s not going to help to have to keep on narrating every single problem that led you to your divorce in the first place.
Having a peaceful and smooth divorce process can be achieved when you opt to mediate. This means there’s no litigation that will happen. You’ll simply meet with the judge and the divorce lawyer who will finalize your documents, and have you sign them to attest to these.
2. Make Sure It’s Final
Don’t go through the divorce with a half-baked decision and unstable emotions, as this will only send you off on a spiral of uncertainty. Before finalizing your divorce with a lawyer’s help, it’s important to make sure you’ve exhausted your options to salvage the marriage and that the decision is mutual. Doing so you can make it an uncontested divorce, where a litigation won’t have to be necessary.
If you haven’t exhausted other means yet to fix your marriage, then perhaps you’ll want to at least try one first. Go to therapy. Perhaps through your therapy sessions, you may be able to fix problems that made you both realize divorce wasn’t really the solution.
If this isn’t the case, then when you’re sure you absolutely want a divorce with finality, remove any emotional attachment you may have, one day at a time. This can help you go through a smoother process, particularly on the days when the divorce process may get emotionally overwhelming.
3. Don’t Be Too Worried About The Children
The children are always going to be affected by anything their parents will go through. However, they’re actually a lot more resilient than you think of them. Although quite inevitable, you don’t always have to agonize so much about how your children are affected by divorce. Remember they shouldn’t be the main reason for you to stay in a marriage, especially if it’s simply not working anymore.
Your children are going to be alright. They could be better off with a divorced parents who are civil and amicable instead of living in one home where the environment is always filled with fighting and yelling.
4. Be Organized
There are many other things that come into play when you’re finalizing your divorce. So, this isn’t the time for you to be all over the place and disorganized.
Once you’ve decided that there’s no other way out but to push through with the divorce, you’ve also got to start planning and organizing everything else that happens after. Where are you going to move to, with the kids? Have you settled your joint bank accounts and other financial matters? Will the children have to move to another school, if you’re moving interstate?
The more organized you are with all your documents and the processes that happen alongside a divorce settlement, the lesser the bumps that’ll happen along the way.
5. Prepare For The Future
Once you decide to undergo divorce, you must prepare yourself for future possibilities. Dating new people is one of them. It shouldn’t make you feel guilty because it doesn’t mean that your children are taking a back seat in your priorities. It simply means you’re ready to move on to the next chapter of your life.
Some couples part ways without a divorce because they don’t want to deal with this tedious legal process. However, they may reach a point when they need to get a divorce because they’ve found a new love and want to enter a new marriage.
Indeed, there’s a good chance that separated or divorced individuals will find themselves wanting to enter a second marriage. So, it pays off to learn what’s fair in second marriage and estate planning early. The first marriage can be pretty challenging for estate planning. But it’s more complicated in a second marriage.
The divorce process can be overwhelmingly complex due to estate issues. And you don’t want to encounter these problems in the future. Hiring an experienced estate planning lawyer can help you create a pre-nuptial or post-nuptial agreement if you plan to marry again. Your lawyer can clearly explain the details to your future spouse to ensure complete understanding before signing.
Conclusion
In closing, the guide above is meant to show you that while a divorce will always put your life in trying times, there are always ways to go through it more smoothly than you may have first imagined. It’s normal for you to feel overwhelmed with what you should do, and what goes on during those days of finalizing your divorce, and even the days after. But, it’s not the end of the world. You’re going to have to start over again, but that’s doable, and you can surely survive that. The tips above can help smoothen out the bumps for you.
