Divorce is heartbreaking for all.

Suddenly we’ve reached the age where wedding invitations have stopped arriving. Where unions and marriages have begun to feel the constraints of time, the stresses of family life, and all the work that any relationship requires. Personalities have changed and people have grown sometimes in different directions. 

Who would have thought back in our 20s that our 30s would bring about endings and transitions? We all too often don’t talk about friendships through this transitioning time. 

Seeing dear friends contemplate separation or divorce brings me a great deal of both loss and fear. Loss in the sense that I not only wanted to grow old with my partner but also wanted to grow old with our friends. Loss of the joint family life I thought we would have and fear of the emotional pain and hardships that all will endure. 

Divorce, the D word we don’t talk about enough. 

The desire to want to support, trust, and help heal those friends transitioning while also feeling our own emotions through it. We’re exchanging bridesmaid dresses for divorce parties if that is what is needed and reminding ourselves that just like the autumn leaves fall, remembering spring blooms once again. 

Honestly, as I am watching marriages and relationships that from the outside seemed perfect now shatter…I can’t help but hold on to mine a little tighter than usual. 

As our seasons of celebration change, making sure we are doing our absolute best to listen without judgment and to offer support during this unpredictable time is key. Sometimes friendships outlast some marriages and that’s okay. Only time will tell where our friends will be in their next season of life, but the one guarantee is that we will be by their side celebrating or crying right alongside them in every chapter of this book called Life.

 

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Nancy Sanchez
A Lake Nona resident, Nancy is a mom of SIX! 5 girls ages 11 to 2 and a newborn son. She is a zoo wrangler to two rescue pups, a black lab named Duke and a chihuahua named Pancho. She loves black coffee, hot weather, and bargain shopping. Being a mom to five strong little women is no small task but she’s excited about the new adventure her son brings. Her bilingual home is filled with all the wonders and joys that chaos brings. On days where she finds a tiny bit of time to herself she writes at www.Motheringinchaos.com. As a graduate of Bowdoin College, Nancy has gone from classroom teaching to focusing mainly on the nonprofit education sector. She has had the privilege of working with organizations like Summer Search and Posse, and she has served as a community organizer. Before motherhood, she lived in Los Angeles, Boston, and New York City. Currently, she is a social media manager for a Mom Owned Cloth Diaper store and has been happily married to her best friend for the 20 years (he’s clearly outnumbered). They are excited to raise their first-generation American children together while keeping them close to their Guatemalan roots.

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